Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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