I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
