Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
