We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
