69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
