It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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