dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
send nudes
from the living room?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
