Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
