Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
