that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
