Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
