hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
