He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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