I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
