Your mouth is God's brothel.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
