marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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