I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
