i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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