He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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