Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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