I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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