ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize