My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
