I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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