if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
