You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
