Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
