People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
