I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize