sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
