It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
