I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
