dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
