Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.

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(727): View more from Florida

if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.

(1-727): View more from Florida

Lol welcome to greek life

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(816): View more from Missouri

Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it

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(770): View more from Georgia

I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.

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(727): View more from Florida

My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.

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(626): View more from California

we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time

(1-781): View more from Massachusetts

If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?

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