Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
