the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
