i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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