You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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