capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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