Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
