We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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