he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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