Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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