she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
