Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
