hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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