Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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