..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
