Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
