Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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