i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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