are you still at the devil's house?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
vagina is talking i cant
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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