How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize