We need to start having sex underwater more often.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
