lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
