I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
