Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
