I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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