i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
