she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
and you fell through a lawn chair
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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