Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
