Well douche your snatch and let's go!
My sheets look like a crime scene.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
