you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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