He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
