weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
