So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
