I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
